I never expected to feel like this.

i don’t like maths but I like these numbers

I speak softer now, most times. I wake up early on school days not fearing the inevitable headache sometime before noon. At work, pressing down on my temples (something I still subconsciously do) doesn’t send a lance of pain straight into my eyes.

It feels bloody amazing, alright. 10 days into the meds, and while I completely understand having those pills is no license to descend into the deep-fried, salty, carboloaded weekend of pizzas, burgers, charkoayteow and fries I want, I now realise what I’ve truly been missing. It feels…quiet. I fall asleep easier, and wake up less in the middle of the night. The difference is so obvious and palpable, and I only have myself to blame all this while.

I do miss being on the socials, but after 10 days of only allowing myself YouTube and TikTok, I guess this cave isn’t too bad. I can’t hear or glimpse any of the chaos and doom a tap away on my phone, but I can choose to ignore it.

It’s easier than ignoring pizza, I’ll tell you that.

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